I have decided that 2015 is going to be the year my life changes. For me, that means no longer accepting the way things are. It means holding myself accountable for my action (and inaction) and it means that I’m not going to settle for the status quo.
The past year of my life has been a real roller coaster. I worked a steady job, I decided what I wanted to do with this site, but at the same time I had to balance that with major personal issues. The death of my parents about 90 days apart being chiefly among them. Habits that I had managed to just get comfortable with went out the window due to schedules, health and family issues. I lost my way. A certain amount of irritation at my getting lost resides in me, along with an irritation that it always sees that once I get a little ahead of the game on one thing, something always seems to happen that sets me back just a little further than where I was to begin with. I can’t allow this to happen any longer. Which means that I have to put things in place to do my best to ensure that the next time I get a curve ball, I’ll be better prepared to handle it.
I had originally thought I would change to a day shift at my day job. I have decided that changing right now would throw my plans up in the air again, so I’ve opted not to do that for the time being. There will be other opportunities to do that.
I’m getting my ass out of bed in the morning and getting moving. See my previous post about kicking butt on Mondays to see my new morning routine. My intention is to stay with it. Exercise first thing in the morning wakes me up and get the brain moving. I seem to flag out a bit in the early evening, but I thin that my body will adjust. We’re talking about a long day here, so we’ll see how that plays out.
I need to be done making excuses for why I can’t get to the things that matter to to me the most. If they matter that much, I will find the time. In addition to removing the imagined obstacles in my way, I plan to remove all the very real ones.
I need to do some serious observations about which fears and prejudices I have that are really trivial, and need to stop judging before investigation so much. Yeah, I still do that from time to time, although I happy to report that I’m pretty good at catching myself at it more often than not.
I need to start holding the people around me accountable for when their flavor of bullshit affects me personally.
I’m going to stop waiting for things to happen. I’m going to have an active hand in making things happen. When things don’t go as planned, I’ll own up.
It’s high time I embrace the aggressive competitive side of my personality. I’ve been passive for far too long.
I will do my best to be present in each moment.
I will build my resources a little at a time so that when the bad stuff happens, I will be able to handle it.
I will make more, and spend much less.
Lastly, I will not let the obstacles and the curveballs derail me as they have in the past. I will believe that there is a way to get through, and I will keep working until I find a solution. I’ve given up and walked away too easy too many times. I’m in this for the long haul.
I will believe I can win.
I’m tired of the way I have lived my life this year, and I’m ready to change. I can’t accept always having to react, and to catch up, or to give up. I have done this in the past for stretches of time before things happen, and I believe that if I can be patient and put systems in place to help me, I can do this every day.
I call this a year of no bullshit. I’m aiming for a life of no more.