I was going to dream up some weird parody about whether or not you’d say something if you saw someone kick the cat and tie it to Keebler Elf, Esq, but let’s be honest. It’s WAY to cutesy-poo to do that, and I’d rather just cut to the meat.
Jeff Sessions is either a lying bastard or a fucking moron. Now, we might get into a discussion about which of those is less worrisome, but either way, the end result is that he’s not good at his job.
In this case, all the man had to do was answer a question simply. Like, for example, how he did in writing to Patrick Leahy:
Leahy (written question): Several of the president-elect’s nominees or senior advisers have Russian ties. Have you been in contact with anyone connected to any part of the Russian government about the 2016 election, either before or after election day?
Sessions’s written reply: “No."
Now, as it turns out, he was lying about that as well, but I want to give the guy props for a straight answer.
So, when the cameras and lights were on him, and he was trying to be the best elf he could be for his buddy Don, he went off the reservation just a tad:
At a confirmation hearing in January, Franken posed the following question to Sessions: “If there is any evidence that anyone affiliated with the Trump campaign communicated with the Russian government in the course of this campaign, what will you do?”
“I'm not aware of any of those activities,” Sessions replied. “I have been called a surrogate at a time or two in that campaign, and I didn't have — did not have communications with the Russians.”
At this point I want to point out that the Elf did what so many slimebalms do in these situations, he answered the question he wanted to answer, not the one asked of him. Had he just answered the question, we wouldn’t be here right now. “Senator, I’d investigate it.” or, “Senator, I’d recuse myself.”
The only places this kind of thing happens are in politics or in dealings with sociopaths.
Which is to say, politics.
So now we have a couple of stories coming from Sessions, ranging from “I did no such thing”, to “I can’t remember”, to “I did, but we didn’t talk about the campaign”. Each one of these is a lie on top of the original lie, because the esteemed elf from Alabama can’t keep his lies straight. So again I say, he’s either a lying bastard, or he’s a fucking moron. Either way, he’s a piece of hot garbage that shouldn’t be Attorney General for any longer than it takes for any player to be named later to get his ass to DC.
If perjury is perjury, and no man is above the law, then Jeff Sessions committed perjury. He should be treated as such.
SnarkyLinks after the jump
2016 was bad for the Camera Business. Not much success, no big profit.
I am a Parrothead, and now there is a place for me to waste away. I will go to the wife, and I will say "Honey, I have found where we will spend the rest of our days. When she's done dancing on my unrecognizable corpse for making this suggestion...
Have you ever seen something that you can't possibly afford, have no room for it anywhere, and yet... The console that recorded the greatest album ever made is going up for auction.
You know, if I had it to do over again, I'd go to journalism school, learn how to be a proper reporter, and I'd see if I could focus on photojournalism. I've fallen back in love with photography. I have a pretty decent camera, and last summer I went out and did a couple of shoots (head to the photos menu up at the top of the page). I won't tell you that I'm any good, I will tell you that I don't suck. However, here's the thing: It is totally ok to love something that you suck royally at. No one cares. We think people do because we're vain creatures that want everything we do to be a home run. That's just not possible, so get over yourself. The question you need to ask is, "Am I having fun doing this?"
Then fuck it, fuck the haters, and fuck the hater between your two ears in particular.
I'm gonna go find something to shoot pretty soon. I need to. Just to have a little fun.