Q an A-Hole: It's First Amendment Time!

Q: Is it a violation of the First Amendment that Alex Jones, “infowars.com”, and other voices have now been essentially banned on social media?

A-Hole:

I will never forget the day when the batshit evangelical Republicans seized the means of social media production so that their opinion can be broadcast over social media and fail to compete with cats, puppers, and fails.

FYI, Ceiling Cat is watching you Legislate.

It’s almost as if people can’t wrap their brains around the words “Congress shall make no law.” It’s completely foreign! It’s like an alien language that no GOP snowflake currently up in their fee fees can understand!

Congress.

Big white building in SC with a big honking nipple on top. You’ve seen it.

Shall

This is where the rubber meets the road, Hoss. There’s a Mandate coming, and since half you Good Christian Tea Folks are latent homosexuals with anger issues about it, I feel the need to tell you mandate is ONE WORD, NOT TWO.

Make

(v) Create, Render into being. Squeeze from the Play-Doh Fun Factory of Life.

No

I know this one’s hard for you, because you NEVER HEAR THIS WORD. An example would be, “Ted, that’s a hard no on surfing the porn sites from your work laptop.”

Law

That thing you’re supposed to be doing there instead of yelling a lot, playing the same old tricks on each other, and trying your best to stay one step ahead of the opposition research. Oh, and cashing obscene checks.

AND NOW, POP QUIZ!

Is Facebook part of Congress?

Is Twitter part of Congress?

Is YouTube Part of Congress?

Do Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube have the power to make laws?

No?

Then. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

If Facebook were a bar, and you were very loudly pontificating about the size of your junk, trying to squeeze up on every woman in the place, and generally acting like a complete fuckhead, the bartender can ask you to leave. Then the bouncer throws you out.

You just got thrown out of the bar, and there’s a picture on the door in case you try to come back. That isn’t the tech company’s fault, it ain’t the liberals fault, it sure as hell ain’t Congress’ fault. It’s yours, and you can’t believe you got held accountable for your shit.

Remind me who the snowflakes are again?