Notes From The Vortex 5/5/2019

As long time friends will know, I’m not a fan of Cinco de Mayo, for the same reasons that I’m not terribly enamored of St. Patrick’s Day. It has nothing to do with the cultural meaning of those holidays; I should be all about St. Patrick’s Day. It has to do with using the holiday (as we often do) as a justification to get hammered. I see no reason that your desire to get fucked up on May 5th is any different than your desire to get fucked up any other day of the year.

Frankly, I’m not big on holidays to begin with. I think Valentine’s Day is a corporate sham. I don’t celebrate Easter, and the less said about that the better. I try to remember an actual reason for Memorial Day weekend that doesn’t involve furniture sales and grilling. Dad died on July 4th, and I’m the farthest from jingoistic patriotism as you’re likely to find. I did look forward to Labor Day every year because of the Telethon. We never did Halloween from about age 16 onward because the kids in my neighborhood were sweet as pie as long as they could swim in the pool, and then egg the same pool and be a gaggle of dicks in the off season. And frankly, I just can’t bring myself to give a quark of a fuck about Thanksgiving and Christmas, other than to spoil the wife and kids.

I celebrate my birthday rarely. The last time was 40. I’m 49 this July. *Maybe* I’ll do something for 50, but I really don’t care. The parents literally 16 Candled me, and I I haven’t cared about it since.

I don’t need a day carved out on the calendar to celebrate the things important to me. I do that every day, rain or shine, good day or bad.

Getting hammered is not one of those important things.